Come Hell or high Water (or Purgatory, if need be)
by Plumcot
Summary: "It's a spell." Sam said. "I was digging through the bunker library when I found it. Well, not the whole thing, it was kind of scattered… and some bits I had to work out on my own, but that's not the point. Dean; it's a spell to get into purgatory."


It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man who has been sitting in front of a computer for hours will end up with a sore ass. Dean grunted and shifted in his seat, then went back to scanning the screen, scrolling down search results, trying out new keywords. You never knew what would turn up a new hunt. Once he'd typed in "rubber duck murder" just for kicks, and actually gotten a result. That one had left him sore for months, and his fingers wrinkled for hours.

The screen blurred in front of him, and he groaned, leaning back and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He couldn't keep this up, and he knew that, but what else was he supposed to do? Ignoring it hadn't worked. Meditating hadn't worked, and he had a serious vendetta against whoever invented the most boring activity since watching paint dry. The only thing so far that could stop him thinking about The Mark – thinking about what it was turning him into – was hunting.

Dean couldn't help but think he'd feel better if… if _he_ were here. He'd always supported him, even when he wasn't the one who needed help. Always put Dean before himself. And he _knew;_ he knew what it was like to feel like a monster, like you had no control over yourself. Maybe-

"Dean!" Sam came striding in, and his voice jarred Dean out of his train of thought.

"What?" Dean snapped, scowling at his brother.

Sam looked like he was about to offer a retort, but thought better of it. Irritating Dean wasn't the best idea right now. Instead he slid into the chair next to him, and placed a book on the table. There was a tiny stack of papers nestled in the open pages of the book, covered in hasty notes written in shorthand, and weird symbols drawn in pencil. "And this is…?" Dean said, gesturing to the pile of papers.

"It's a spell." Sam said. "I was digging through the bunker library when I found it. Well, not the whole thing, it was kind of scattered… and some bits I had to work out on my own, but that's not the point. Dean; it's a spell to get into purgatory."

Dean, who had been leaning back leisurely in his chair up until now, snapped to attention, his eyes wide open. "Did you just say purgatory?"

"Yeah, I did." Dean could swear he saw a smile pulling at the edge of Sam's lips. "It's pretty complex, but we've worked harder spells before."

"Wait wait wait, back up a second. What makes you so eager to get into purgatory?"

Sam opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I just…" he sighed. "I guess I just felt bad. I was always on your case about Benny back when he was… you know. But he saved my life, and I saw how broken up you were when he didn't come back. So I figured-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, before Dean pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, Sam. Really."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, well, don't thank me yet; we still don't know where to find any of the ingredients."

Dean pulled away, smiling as he clapped Sam on the shoulder. "Never stopped us before. Nearest place that sells the real stuff is seven hours away. You up for the drive?"

Sam grinned as he stood up, book in hand. "Lead the way."

* * *

Sam let out a breath as he stood, chalk in hand, and ran his eye over the chalk symbols. "Okay… this should be good."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, eyeing the set-up warily. Freaky symbols, bowls filled with questionable substances, candles in strategic places… yeah, he was used to this stuff by now. Enough to know that these things were precise, and you didn't want to be on the wrong end of a sloppy one.

Sam made an effort not to roll his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure, Dean. This should-"

"_Should?"_  
"_Will_. It will get you into purgatory no problem. Now, do you have a plan to find Benny?"

"Ah… I figured I'd just walk around until I found him." Sam raised an eyebrow at him, and Dean frowned. "Hey, what am I supposed to do? It's not like I have vampire GPS! Look, if all else fails, I'll just grab a resident and ask them."

"Ask them?"

"Violently."

"Um… Dean, are you sure-"

"It'll be _fine_, Sam. I just-" He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Just let me have this, okay? With all that's been happening lately, don't you think I at least deserve this?"

_Don't you think I at least deserve _him?

"Okay, okay… you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."  
"Step in the middle there."

Dean stepped in the middle of the symbols, and Sam grabbed the book from the nearby table and began to recite in Latin. As he progressed through the incantation, wind began to swirl through the bunker. Dean's vision blurred in and out of focus, and his ears started to pop. Finally the last word left his brother's mouth, and the last thing he saw was the candles around him flaring up, before his vision went black, just for a second. And when his sight came back… well, he wasn't in Kansas anymore.

* * *

Sniff out prey. Hunt. Kill. Get high off the thrill. Repeat. Simple, but that was probably the most accurate description of life in purgatory. Before, he'd at least had his dignity. Even in purgatory, this hellish thunderdome where the only rules were hunt or be hunted, he'd still kept his head. To the extent that, when that pretty little human had showed up, he'd only thought 'meal' for a split second before his rational brain supplied 'ticket out'.

Later on, Benny had begun to have totally different thoughts about Dean, but that was beside the point.

The point was that now, he'd given himself over to his nature. He saw no point in staying merciful or rational, because the only reason he'd tried before was that he'd had hope. But now? After he'd gotten free of purgatory only to go right back? After he'd climbed back out into the world he'd so desperately craved to see once more, only to feel like someone returning to home after decades and finding they've become an outsider? He saw no point in dignity.

So this time, when the sweet scent of human wafted its way through the trees and under his nose, he didn't think 'Dean'. He didn't think anything; he just bared his fangs and _ran._

* * *

Dean groaned, clutching his head with one hand as he blinked at his surroundings. It seemed like the less legitimate methods of purgatory-entry came with some downsides. He stood in place for a few moments, waiting for his vision to return to normal and the pressure in his head to go down. He was just about up to full working capacity when a noise sounded to his left. It only took him a second to register that it was the sound of something barreling through the woods towards him at full speed. Unfortunately, a second was a little too slow.

Something tackled Dean, sending the air flying out of his lungs as he hit the ground. His hunter instincts kicked in, and he braced his arms against the thing's shoulders, stopping it in its tracks and giving him time to wrench out from under it. He scrambled to stand up, whipping around to face his...

…Benny?

"Benny!?" He shouted, dodging just in time to avoid the fangs headed straight for him. "Benny, it's me!" He ducked and wove, focusing all his energy on not having to hurt the vampire. He didn't know what was wrong with Benny, but he thought if he could just get through to him…

"Benny, it's me! Dean Winchester! We- we met in purgatory, you saved my ass from a vampire, we teamed up and fought our way back to earth! You call me brother, I called you a vampirate, you…" He trailed off. Benny had stopped attacking, and was standing stock-still in front of him, his shoulders heaving up and down with his breath.

The vampire squinted. "…Dean?"

"Yes!" Dean said, stepping carefully forward, one slow foot at a time. "Yes, yes it's me! Dean!"

As Dean watched, something seemed to come back to Benny's eyes. His fangs retracted, and he looked at Dean with a mixture of disbelief and hurt. He took a step back.

"Whoa whoa whoa, it's okay, it's okay." Dean said, holding his hands up in a gesture meant to show he had no ill intent. "It's just me, man."

"I know it's you, Dean." He looked at the ground, seemingly unwilling to make eye contact. "I- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey hey, it's okay." Dean said, taking another step forward, then another. "You were really out of it, I get it."

Benny almost laughed. "No, I don't think you do. Why- why're you here, Dean? What mess did you get yourself into this time?"

Dean frowned. "What? No, Benny, no mess. I came back here for _you_."

That seemed to trigger something in Benny. He snapped up to face Dean, an incredulous look on his face. "You what?"

"You heard me, man! I came back here for you! To bring you back! Sam found a spell, and-"

"_No." _It was the harshest Dean had ever heard his voice. At least, the harshest it had ever been directed at _him._

"No? Whaddyou mean 'no'?"

"I mean _no_, Dean! There's a reason I'm here in the first place!"

"Yeah… I wanted to ask you about that." Dean said, slowly edging closer to the vampire until they weren't standing a world away anymore. "Why didn't you come back with Sam?"

"I ain't fit for that world, Dean." Benny said. "Up there, I'm nothin' but a monster. A tickin' time bomb, waitin' to go off. I was never fit to be around your kind, not really. I could pretend, but… in the end, you're all safer with me down here. At least down here the things I kill won't be missed."

Dean cracked a hesitant smile. "Hey, are you saying I can't handle you?"

"It's more than that, Dean, and you know it." Benny sighed. "Goodbye. Good luck gettin' back out."

He turned and started walking back into the forest, but he'd forgotten one important detail; Dean Winchester is a stubborn son of a gun.

"Now hold on a second!" Dean said, striding forward until he matched Benny's pace step for step. "You don't think I'm just gonna give up on you, do you?"

"I'm not leaving, Dean."

"Well I guess I'm not leaving either."

Benny stopped, and turned to see Dean standing there with his hands in his pockets and a smug smile on his face. "You're kiddin'."

"Nope."

"You're not gonna stay here for my sake."

"Try me."

Benny looked to the sky as if asking some higher power who saddled him with this crazy person. "Brother, you need to learn how to accept no for an answer."

"Hasn't happened yet, don't think it will anytime soon."

Benny sighed, and started up walking again. "You'll give up soon. Just wait and see."

"Challenge accepted. Where're we going, anyway?"

"Not sure. I was hopin' you'd give up after I left."

"Well, what were you gonna do before I showed up?"

Benny didn't answer.

* * *

Sam shifted in his seat. He twiddled his fingers. He picked up his laptop and tried searching cases, but nothing could shake the feeling of being stared at. Of course, he knew who was staring at him; Castiel was right there in the seat next to him, making no attempt to hide himself. But that didn't make it any less unsettling. Normally Castiel would be occupied with Dean, but without him here-

"It's quite silent." Yeah… that.

"Yeah, I know Cas. Don't worry, he'll get back soon."

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Castiel spoke up again. "I really wish you had consulted me before-"

"I _know_, Cas. I get it."

"Hm…"

Sam sighed; he couldn't take just sitting and waiting, he had to _do_ something. But what?

"Hey, Cas?"

"Yes?"

"You ever played 'Go Fish'?"

* * *

"Cheeseburgers."

"Can't eat normal food anymore."

"Sex."

"like I was gettin' laid anyway."

"Movies?"

"Not exactly a compelling reason to live, Dean."

Dean huffed as he hopped over a log in his path, still walking behind Benny. He felt like that one kid who goes to a party and awkwardly follows their friend around the whole time. You know the one.

"Come on, man, work with me here! What _did_ you enjoy?"

When Sam had first told him about the spell, he'd figured it would be a straightforward get-in-get-out deal. He figured as soon as he found Benny the mission would be as good as over, but he'd forgotten about the biggest variable; Benny himself.

Benny sighed, still meandering along with his hands in his pockets. "Not much of anythin', Dean. A lot of opportunities for entertainment are lost when you got fangs and you don't wanna use 'em." He turned so he was looking at Dean over his shoulder. "Why're you so eager to get me topside, anyhow?"

Dean stopped in his tracks. "I, um…"

"What's that?"

"Um- what?"

"That there, on your arm."

Dean wasn't sure if he was glad or not for the change of subject. He sighed, wrenching his sleeve up his arm to reveal the mark.

Benny frowned, stepping closer to get a good look. "Well, as scars go-"

"It's the Mark of Cain." Dean interjected.

"Cain? As in _the_ Cain? Cain-and-Abel Cain?"

"The very same. This mark, it… he gave it to me. It gives me power, in a way, but it also…" He took a deep breath. "It turns me into something I don't like."

Benny looked up at him. "Oh brother… I didn't want to believe it…"

Dean frowned. "What? Didn't want to believe what?"

"The things you kill, Dean… they all end up here. And most of them cross my path, sooner or later. Lately, I- I've been hearin' talk. Talk about you. What you've turned into."

Dean looked away. "Yeah, well, I'll save you the trouble. It's all true."

Benny stepped forward until his face was inches away from Dean's. He locked eyes with him, and Dean's breath hitched. Was he-

"You feel like a monster?"

Dean frowned, confused; that was _not_ where he thought this was going. "What?"

"Like there's somethin' inside you, clawin' its way to the surface? And you clamp down hard on it, but no matter what you do it always gets back out, and you always end up hurtin' people? People you care about?"

"I-"

"That's how I feel every day of my life, Dean. That's why I can't leave." He turned and started walking away, but this time Dean was too fast. He grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him back around.

"I get it, okay?" He nearly shouted. "I get it, and I'm sorry! I'm sorry you were dealt a bad hand, but is this really the answer? Spending eternity in a place where you can just feed your rage and your bloodlust until it's all that's left!?"

"And what's the alternative, Dean!?" It was the first time Benny had actually raised his voice at him. "Go back with you so you can abandon me all over again!?"

Dean's eyes widened in shock, his arms falling from Benny's shoulders. "Benny… Benny, I'm sorry-"

"You're sorry?" Benny gave a bitter laugh. "Sorry doesn't cut it." He fought to keep his voice under control, but it still came out shaky, his words coming in short bursts. "I was at rock bottom, Dean. I was at the end of my rope, and I turned to _you_. I thought you would help, thought you would _give a damn_. But instead you ripped out my heart, and you stepped on it, and then you hung up."

"But- Benny, why'd you come back, then?"

"Why do you think I'm here? I thought- I thought maybe if I did you a favor, I'd be makin' somethin' up to you. But when I got there… what you asked me to do, Dean… I wasn't exactly in my right mind then. I thought maybe I deserved to die and stay dead."

He turned his back to Dean. "_Don't_ follow me." He growled, before walking away, his feet falling heavy like he had a grudge against the ground.

Dean stood, his feet rooted to the ground as he watched him leave. He didn't take his eyes off the vampire until he finally disappeared into the fog, and the hunter was left alone. Only then did he seem to be able to move again. "Well fine, then!" He shouted at the empty space in front of him. "Just stay dead! What do I care!?" He scowled, watching the horizon for a moment more, almost believing that Benny might come running back. When that didn't happen he turned in the opposite direction, stomping back toward where he was pretty sure the way out was. Who needed him, right? He'd been doing just fine before he met Benny, and he'd do just fine now.

Wait a second… was the exit door _this_ way, or…?

* * *

Dean muttered angrily to himself as he crashed through the brush, snapping twigs and fighting bushes that had the nerve to get in his way. It'd been at least an hour since he'd split from Benny, and he was beginning to think he didn't know his way around quite as well as he thought. He was sure he'd seen that tree before.

He wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't gone after Benny in the first place. What was he even thinking? Here he'd thought he meant something to the vampire, that their relationship might have been enough to talk Benny into going back. But it looked like he was wrong. He tried to tell himself that it didn't hurt. A lot.

Dean heard a rustle in the trees next to him, and just like that he was being jumped for the second time that day. This time he had the good sense to jump out of the way before he had an unwanted rendezvous with the ground. When he looked down, he was staring into the muzzle of an intensely pissed off werewolf, crouched and snarling and ready to pounce.

He heard a growl behind him. Two werewolves, then.

Another growl. Three?

Five?

_Seven?_

"Son of a-" That's when three different werewolves lunged for him, and his sentence was forgotten in a rush to A) get out of the way, and B) get out his silver knife. He whirled around, knife in hand, just in time to plunge it into the stomach of an attacking wolfman. The creature staggered back, whining in pain, and Dean gave it no time to recover before he swung the blade up and into its heart. That took care of one, but six were still gunning for him. He was always surprised that packs could stay as cohesive as this, even in death. In the brief second between stabbing the werewolf and wrenching the blade out of its chest, one of its friends pounced at him, pressing him up against a tree and rearing its claws back, ready to rip out his heart. If he could just-

As it turns out, he didn't have to think of an escape plan. Just before he became dinner there was a sickening crunch, and the tip of a blade poked its way through the werewolf's chest before it fell down, dead. Dean looked up in shock to see Benny standing there, blade in hand.

"We always end up back here, don't we, brother?" He said, before whipping around to catch a lunging werewolf's arm.

Dean grinned before throwing himself back into the fray; thank god for sentimental vampires.

"So," he said as he caught a werewolf in the arm with his knife, "what made you decide to come back?"

"Heard you yellin'. Figured I couldn't just let you die down here."

Oh yeah… vampire hearing. "Wait, so you heard-"

"'Fraid so."

"Oh. Damn, Benny, I'm sorry."

"Like I said," Benny plunged his knife into another werewolf, and it went down whimpering. "sorry don't cut it."

"Look, you gotta understand," Dean brought his knee up into the sternum of one of the werewolves. "I didn't wanna leave you, but my brother-"

"You always do what your brother tells you to?"

"He's all I have, Benny! Or at least, he was for a-" the knife went into the chest of the werewolf he'd been fighting; three left. "-for a long time. I couldn't risk pushing him away!"

"So you just left me hangin' like that for him?"

"Yes! And I regret it _every day_!"

A werewolf jumped onto Benny's back, and he grabbed its arms, slamming it onto the ground in front of him and stabbing it before it could get back up.

"Listen, Benny, I know I messed up." Dean got a werewolf in a chokehold, and Benny stabbed it in the chest as he held it in place. "Just let me make it up to you! We can get you back topside, and Sam's cool with you now so there'll be no problem there, and we can deal with the whole vampire thing, it's not like breaking into bloodbanks is exactly Mt. Everest for me-"

"But _why_, Dean?" One last werewolf lunged at them, and Benny caught it by the arms, shoving it straight into the knife Dean held at the ready. "Why do you want me back so badly?" Benny continued.

The last werewolf tumbled to the ground. They stood surrounded by bodies now, looking like the perpetrators of a massacre, which they kind of were. With all enemies gone, they were free to focus on each other. Benny's eyes moved over Dean's face, as if searching for something. For a reason.

Dean gulped; it was now or never. "Because I need you, Benny." He finally blurted out. "I never knew how good I had it with you until you were gone, and when I broke it off like that- god, I _hated_ myself for it! Benny, you made me so happy! Even when we were fighting for survival, you always had my back, never judged me no matter how what I did, what I said. You accepted me, Benny, and that means the world to me! Not to mention you're one of the nicest people I know, and you're hot as hell, and your accent _does things_ to me, man, and-"

He was cut off by Benny's lips against his, and this was one of the rare times Dean really didn't mind being interrupted. Benny wrapped him up in his arms and kissed him until he felt like he was floating, and it was all Dean could do to hold on tight and try to keep up. When they finally broke loose, and Dean gasped like he was coming up for air after a long dive, there was only one thing he could think of to say.

"I love you."

Benny grinned. "Been waitin' to hear that. I love you too, sugar."

Dean frowned. "What- just like that? Aren't you still mad at me?"

"Oh, I'm still pissed as hell. But I had time to think after I left, and… you were doin' what you thought was best. Though I'd appreciate it if it didn't happen again. And besides;" he dove in and planted another short kiss on Dean's lips, "I'm lookin' forward to see how you'll make it up to me."

Dean's jaw fell. "Wait, does that mean-"

"I'm comin' home, sugar. That is, if you'll have me."

"Of course!" A smile began to tug at the corners of Dean's lips, and he gladly let it do its magic until he was grinning up to his ears. "Yeah, yeah of course! Let's get out of here!"

Benny reached down and took Dean's hand in his, and Dean – still grinning, and starting to turn red – gladly followed.

"So wait, if you were already gonna come back, what was that big speech for, then? Back with the werewolves?"

"Oh, that? I wanted to hear you say why you wanted me back. Figured I wouldn't get it from you straight if I didn't guilt-trip you a little first."

"You son of a-"

* * *

"Okay, do you have any… threes?"

"I have three of these?"

"You have three threes?"

"No, but I have three of these."

Castiel turned his hand around to show Sam. Sam, out of respect for the rookie, held his hand in front of his eyes. "No, Cas, you're not supposed to show me. And it doesn't mean three of just anything, it means do you have any cards with three on them."

"Oh…" Castiel frowned at his cards. "In that case, no, I do not."

"So you say…?"

"…Go fishing?"

"Close enough."

There was a loud knock at the door, and Sam jumped in his seat, dropping his cards.

"There's a three, can I use that one?"

Sam glanced at Castiel as he got up out of his seat. "I'll explain why that's wrong later, okay?" He said as he headed toward the door. When he got it open, there was Dean, as expected. And Benny, as he'd hoped. What he hadn't been expecting was for Dean to lead Benny into the bunker with his hand clutching the vampire's like it was the natural thing to do.

"Heya, Sammy!" Dean said, his voice full of cheer as he closed the door behind them. "Look who I found!"

"Uh… yeah, that's great, Dean."

"I'm gonna go show him around the bunker."

"You do that."

Sam watched as they walked down the stairs, stealing a knowing glance at each other as they went.

What had he missed this time?


End file.
